Milestone – Haiku

Wordless Wednesday – ❓❓❓

Breaking Up With Writer’s Block

Dear Writer’s Block:

It’s not you, it’s me. I cannot keep seeing you every day. You bring me down and you keep me idle as if my hands were tied and my thoughts are like mush. I packed your belongings that you left at my place and put them out in the yard for you to pick up. I cannot extend hospitality to you any more. If I forgot to pack something of yours, let me know via email and I will gladly get it to you.

At the beginning of our relationship I heard bad stuff about you from others, but I acted out of pride thinking I could change you. When we first met, you did not have a big impact on me, but there is something mesmerizing about you that made me forget all my hopes and dreams of being a writer. The only way to be a good writer is to write – daily. But you kept demanding my attention and I put my personal goals and desires on the back burner and for what?

I desire a more energetic relationship with others. I want to play the field…with the alphabet. I have watched them from a distance how they can be rearranged into fun words and sentences. They have more meaning than you do and for that I desire to be a part of their lifestyle rather than the boring life you and I have been living for the past few months.

I do not want our paths to cross ever again.

Sincerely,

Kristine

Please Stand By

I am experiencing writer’s block.

I have not been able to create a blog and I am experiencing difficulty writing for a church assignment.

Please God, open my mind so I can share the gift of writing with your people.

Psalm 32:3(NIV)
When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.

Mary Oliver’s Apprentice

Imitate an author and learn how to write. This was an assignment in my college Creative Writing class.

Freshen the Flowers, She Said
by Mary Oliver
So I put them in the sink, for the cool porcelain
was tender,
and took out the tattered and cut each stem
on a slant,
trimmed the black and raggy leaves, and set them all –
roses, delphiniums, daisies, iris, lilies,
and more whose names I don’t know, in bright new water –
gave them

a bounce upward at the end to let them take
their own choice of position, the wheels, the spurs,
the little sheds of the buds. It took, to do this,
perhaps fifteen minutes.
Fifteen minutes of music
with nothing playing.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Freshen the Fishbowl, He Said
by Kristine
So I put them near the window, for the view
was uncommon,
and took out half the water and moved the landscape
with my hands,
I chased the schools, and watched them all –
goldfish, guppies, killfish, mollies, barbs,
and more whose species I don’t know, in half murky water –
gave them

a waterfall of fresh tap water from a bucket to let them make
their own choice of school near the trees, the sunken ships,
the littlest of them all. It took, to do this,
perhaps twenty minutes.
Twenty minutes of care
with nothing dying.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

 Philippians 4:5 (NIV)
Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Up/Down

Turn up the news or
turn down your voice.
I want to hear the message.

The cats are either upstairs or
downstairs,
wherever I happen to be.

Look up to see the sky or
look down to see the earth.
My God is everywhere.

Families upsize homes to accommodate additions or
families downsize homes as empty-nesters.
My house remains the same.

Look at me upside-down or
look at me downside-up.
I will never change.

I will never change.
My house remains the same.
My God is everywhere.
Wherever I happen to be,
I want to hear the message.

Silence is the Retreat

My drive from Michigan to Ohio was absolutely beautiful.  Michigan had experienced an ice-storm and every branch of the crystalized trees glittered for miles, superior to any display of Christmas lights I have ever seen, as the sunshine brought them to life.  My simple little camera would not have captured the beauty that was before me; therefore, the photo album is etched in my memory. 

To silence oneself for a few days is not as hard as imagined; I accomplished this during the last weekend in March in a most serene setting in Ohio at a silent directed retreat.  About 25 others attended this quiet-time to contemplate and discern God in our lives.  We were blessed with trained Spiritual Directors to guide us in this journey.   

The first evening, we were able to speak with others while sharing a meal.  I was one of three participants from Michigan, and I met some awesome Ohioans.  We may have talked for 45 minutes or so, but much was shared within those precious minutes.  After the meal, we met in a room together to share what was on our hearts this weekend.  When it was my turn to speak, I explained that about a month ago, I had a very vivid dream of someone telling me to “minister to the church”.  My personal task then was to spend time with God to see just what that meant.

We were assigned one of four Spiritual Directors and we broke into smaller groups to meet with them for further instruction about the weekend and to set up our personal meeting times.  After this short meeting, we were excused to begin our journey into silence.

Back in my room, I had a hard time settling in.  Earlier that morning, my mother was rushed to emergency and diagnosed with a treatable form of congestive heart failure.  It was on my mother’s urging that I go ahead and make my journey to Ohio as I had planned for months.  I silently kept in contact with my siblings by receiving updates about my mother’s condition via text messaging. 

One awesome cook made all of our meals.  Eating in silence was an experience I had never encountered.  We acknowledged each other with smiles, but then focused on our food before us and the beauty of the landscape that surrounded us through all the windows in the dining area.  We took turns cleaning up the kitchen after each meal.  I signed up for clean up duty after breakfast on Saturday morning.  I broke the silence in the dining area when I accidently dropped a drinking glass onto the ceramic tiled floor.

Spring was not in the air; however, God gave us sunshine every day.  I bundled up and took a walk along the paths in the woods and I walked around the pond and next to a stream.  I spotted beautiful birds that I never see in Michigan, I heard the jack-hammer pounding of the Woodpeckers high up in the trees, and two sets of geese were making their homes near the pond.  It was so beautiful.

Sitting in silence and letting the Holy Spirit speak to my heart was quite an amazing experience.  Spending time in prayer, God’s word, in His creation, and simply resting in Him, made me realize that He is not quiet at all. 

During our closing session, we went around the room, as we had at the beginning, and shared what the Holy Spirit spoke to us in our silent journey.  This is what I said:

On Thursday, I announced that I wanted to know what my dream meant to “minister to the church”.  I found out that answer this weekend.

To minister means to care for others.  The church are people everywhere.

The Holy Spirit allowed me to search deep inside of me to remind myself that I love to help people.  I have sewing skills, listening skills, writing skills and support skills that I can creatively use to serve God’s people.  Although I have ideas on how to utilize my passions and skills, it will be the Holy Spirit that will lead me.  I will spend more time in prayer and in God’s word as they will strengthen me.

Philippians 4:13 is my take-away verse:

I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.

I did not want to leave the serenity of the weekend.  My Spiritual Director explained that this is an experience.  I can take this experience with me, lean on it, remember it and be thankful for it.  I can create new experiences to spend quality, quiet-time with the Holy Spirit.  When she said this to me, it didn’t make sense.  Only after being immersed into the world once again, do I understand.  It is important for all of us to sneak away, quiet ourselves and let the Holy Spirit speak to our hearts as it is true nourishment for the soul.  Now I understand why Jesus took time alone to pray to his Father.  He was being strengthened for His journey to the cross.

A special Thank You to Sister Virginia, my Spiritual Director.  May God continue to use you for His good works.   

Lost Creativity

neutral crayons
dehydrated markers
ragged paper

wadded fabric
rusted scissors
unraveled spools of thread

inkless pen
pointless pencil
inoperative computer

                                 Sit
                     and
      stare

while my brain sleeps

Ezekiel 37: 5 (NIV)

This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.

 

New Life Begins at Kidney

Eight years ago, a family was shedding tears at the loss of a woman in Georgia. I never met her yet I want to know everything about her. Did she hold the titles of sister, wife, mother, aunt, and best friend? What was her occupation? Did she know and follow the Lord? How did she die? Who was with her when she took her last breath?

Eight years ago, my family was shedding tears of joy over a telephone call to my husband, Mark, telling him that they have a kidney match for him from Georgia. He was instructed to be at the hospital early in the morning on January 24 to get prepped and ready for a transplant. That evening was the last time he had to use the peritoneal home dialysis machine. We ran around the house in such excitement, making phone calls to family and friends telling the good news and asking for prayers. Understandably, we did not sleep much that night.

My mom and sister sat with me in the waiting room during the surgery. Mark’s parents and twin brother came from the Bay City, Michigan area as did his sister and brother-in-law who live in town. We all waited patiently.

A doctor came through the operating room doors and told us that once the kidney was attached, it started to pink up and Mark was urinating! Urinating? Really? That hadn’t happened in about 2 years since his kidney failed. As his wife, I was the first one who got to see him when he woke from the anesthesia. He looked so good!

We are born to do the work God has planned for us. When our work is done, He calls us to Heaven to be with Him. This woman in Georgia may have completed her work at a young age; however, her kidney was in perfect shape to be used again.

When Mark first told me about his health history, all I could see were God’s fingerprints all over him. I feel blessed to be his wife because I know that God has great plans for him. Why else would God give him three chances at new life?

I take time, especially on this anniversary, to pray for the family and friends of the woman from Georgia who passed away eight years ago. I thank God often for giving me such a great husband. I pray also to remember that every day is a special gift from God.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

In college, I took a creative writing class and came up with the following during a writing assignment titled KIDNEY.

Kidney.
Renal failure.
Immediate health care.

Sick at such a young age, he did not once
back down, no, he did not
allow the disease to win: transplant.
Kidney.

Effect.
Renal failure.
Kindhearted cadaver

renewed life in the man I love deeply.
Insist on living, my
sweetheart, I love having you near me.
Be well.

Happy 8th Kidney Anniversary Mark!  I love you!!!