I have a hard time with God sometimes. I can pray to Him and I can also talk as if He was right next to me, like talking to a friend or a parent. But there are so many times I just want to see Him, though, you know? I confess often that I wish I had someone just like Him in the flesh to talk to, to share my troubles with and physically put my head on their shoulder while embracing in a hug.
I feel so bad for confessing that because spiritually, I know God is right here with me. Always. Putting his arm around me and comforting me. Spiritually I feel it, but physically I want to feel it more.
Then, out of the blue, a friend sends me a message telling me her “God sighting”, telling me that she thought of me when it happened.
It didn’t take long to have it hit me that God was speaking to me through my friend. The story she shared was so filled with the word of God to me, even though it was her own encounter with God. God answered my prayer and became a human.
I have a hard time with God sometimes, but am so thankful that he doesn’t feel the same about me.
Thank you God.
The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
Call me a late-bloomer. In my early 40s, I marched in step, while dancing in my heart, to the band playing Pomp and Circumstance for the college graduating class of 2009. I worked hard for this glorious milestone. While employed full-time for 14 years with the same company, I attended evening and Saturday classes taking anywhere from 3 to 9 credit hours each semester for 6 years. Many late nights were spent reading textbooks and writing papers. I am the youngest of five in my family, and the first to graduate college.
Having made the Dean’s List 3 times and excelling in the capstone classes with A+ as my final grade, I was bursting with confidence. Bursting with confidence, even though a month before my graduation I was blind-sided with a 60-day notice that my job was being eliminated. The blind-side was softened by promises that the Human Resources Department would assist me in finding another position within the company.
In October, 2008, God called home the president of the division, whom I supported for five years. Understandably, a shift in management ensued and my job became redundant when the newly-appointed president decided to retain his current assistant. I cried on my husband’s shoulder that evening the day the bomb dropped on me. This news stung my pride like a very angry bee. As the last step of our debt-snowball, we had planned to pay off our house the following year and this unexpected news was forcing us to recalculate our timing and finances.
During my 60-day sentence, the Human Resources Department proved not as agreeable in assisting my job search within the company as promised. However, I was blessed with a temporary boss that knew my situation and he allowed me the freedom to network within the company. I felt like a door-to-door salesman selling my work ethic, job skills and experience, and of course, highlighting my new degree to management throughout the company.
Time moved forward and the new president rearranged his corner office and I regretfully trained his assistant. Word spread that my days were numbered. Often asked how I was coping with this news and transition, I was able to witness confidently that God has a plan for my life and I was not at all worried.
My inter-company networking and salesmanship paid off and I was the first of many candidates interviewed for a position on that final week of my employment. I knew I was over-qualified, but my confidence was still running high and I really wanted to stay with the company. After all, 14 years was a long time to give up without a fight.
I was invited to lunch every day of that last week by co-worker-turned-friends. Everyone in my department held a special lunch in my honor on the final Friday. I was given an over-sized homemade card signed by the team along with gifts, balloons, and a sugar-high from the icing on the farewell cake. At 4:30pm that day, after everyone left to begin their weekend, I waited by the office phone in anticipation of a call from Human Resources to either invite me to the exit interview or extend a job offer.
The phone rang and I heard myself accepting the job offer. Humbled by the love shown to me from so many on that final week, I likened it to being at my own funeral and popping out of the casket and asking everyone what was going on because I was simply taking a nap.
In my mind’s eye, I replay this time when I juggled a full-time job, late nights reading textbooks, writing papers, and trying to keep up with house and husband. I know God carried me through it all. I never gave in to worry the day after the bomb dropped on me. I believed God’s promises written in Romans 5:3-5 (NRSV),
”And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.”
Even as a late-bloomer, I never gave up on God because he never gives up on me.
1 out of 3 Gives
Matthew 6:26 Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
1 out of 3 Saves
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not perish but may have eternal life.
1 out of 3 Dwells within
John 14:26 But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything, and remind you of all that I have said to you.
3 out of 3 are 1
A man told me love would last until death stole our breath.
We divorced; I lost faith in love.
My body failed to produce a child of my own.
I am infertile; I lost faith in family.
Terrorists flew planes into a building and thousands of lives were lost in one day.
In fear; I lost faith in man.
At each loss, I scream, “Why?!” I opened the Bible and found comfort…
Do not remember the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you, LORD, are good. PSALM 25:7
I have faith in unconditional love.
Sing barren woman, you who never bore a child, burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolte woman than of her who has a husband,” says the LORD. ISAIAH 54:1-3
Be glad, barren woman, you who never bore a child; shout for joy and cry aloud, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband. GALATIONS 4:27
I have faith in family even if it does not come from my own DNA. The same message is given in the Old Testament and the New Testament…God is good.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. JOHN 3:16
I have faith in Jesus.
This is the role that faith played in my life. Faith continues to grow.
I am usually an early riser. It doesn’t matter if it is the weekend or a day off, I love a good sunrise. My mantra has been, “the early bird gets the worm”. Plus, I love long days.
In the spring and summer I tend to play a little game in the morning called, “who will rise first”. This game is played with the neighborhood birds and me. I try to rise before the first bird rolls out of the nest and let’s out it’s first chirp of the day.
You may think this is a little strange, especially to all of the night-owls reading this post after noon when you roll out of bed. All I am doing is raising my awareness of the beautiful creation God has given us. In fact, as I sit here on this beautiful sunny Saturday morning, I do not hear any birds chirping. My little friends have started to head south for the winter.
I challenge you to sit in awareness today. Let me know what facet of God’s creation piques your awareness. Feel free to share in the comments section below.
Mark 1:35 (NIV)
Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.
I saw the hands clasped together as they walked across the busy street; a father and his child.
Half way across, the child let go and started to run for fear of the oncoming traffic while the father
kept his same pace and was not in any harm.
Isn’t that like us with God? We let go of His hand and run ahead in fear.
Why can’t we keep holdin’ on?
Isaiah 41:13 MSG
I, your God, have a firm
grip on you and I’m not letting go. I’m
telling you, “Don’t panic. I’m right
here to help you.”
When I am in your Word, I feel you close to me. When I sit silently, I hear your sweet voice.
Please forgive me for taking a vacation from you this summer. Rattling off excuses will be of no use. The bottom line, I was selfish with my time. Apple got it right when they named their products iPhone and iPad as they are hand-held me-focused toys with a few business uses. I spent my time intertwined on the web commenting to friends on facebook and reading email after email in Yahoo all while my Bible sat on the end table in the front window getting a sunburn.
Please forgive me for taking you for granted. I feel like I wasted this beautiful season without you near. Recent days have not been good for me. My smile flipped into a frown. My aches turned into pains and when loneliness crept in, I realized I had not spoken with you in quite a while.
I am sincerely sorry for neglecting you. Thank you that you meet me where I am. You are the Father running to meet His prodigal child. I am going to end this blog to spend time with you.
In Jesus’s Name I Am Forever Yours,
I ♥ God
“Therefore, my friends, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you.
Imitate an author and learn how to write. This was an assignment in my college Creative Writing class.
Freshen the Flowers, She Said
by Mary Oliver
So I put them in the sink, for the cool porcelain
and took out the tattered and cut each stem
on a slant,
trimmed the black and raggy leaves, and set them all –
roses, delphiniums, daisies, iris, lilies,
and more whose names I don’t know, in bright new water –
a bounce upward at the end to let them take
their own choice of position, the wheels, the spurs,
the little sheds of the buds. It took, to do this,
perhaps fifteen minutes.
Fifteen minutes of music
with nothing playing.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Freshen the Fishbowl, He Said
So I put them near the window, for the view
and took out half the water and moved the landscape
with my hands,
I chased the schools, and watched them all –
goldfish, guppies, killfish, mollies, barbs,
and more whose species I don’t know, in half murky water –
a waterfall of fresh tap water from a bucket to let them make
their own choice of school near the trees, the sunken ships,
the littlest of them all. It took, to do this,
perhaps twenty minutes.
Twenty minutes of care
with nothing dying.
Philippians 4:5 (NIV)
Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
A couple of weeks ago, I got a quick glimpse of my 6-year-old nephew’s bug-catcher box. He made roommates out of a beautiful butterfly and a dragonfly. Created to fly free, these two little creatures flitted around their cramped quarters looking for a way out.
I have been a member of several Bible studies over the years. My radio is tuned to a Christian station so I can be fed the Word through preaching and songs by my favorite preachers and musical artists, respectively. I have housed the Word of God in my heart. Created to be shared with the world, the Word of God is moving in me looking for a way out.
I think the bug-catcher box became a coffin as it was left in a hot, dark garage for well over 24 hours. I didn’t see my nephew catch these two creatures of God, but I can bet he had fun in the process. He should have let them free. He may have forgotten about them while tending to his busy 6-year-old schedule.
I feel like a Word-of-God hoarder. God is not dying in my heart, but instead, He is over-flowing my heart and desiring to reach my family, relatives, friends and strangers. Sometimes I think I am not properly prepared to share, but then quickly realize it is not about me.
Catch a butterfly and a dragonfly and admire them for their beauty. Let them go to share with the world around you.
Learn about God and hold his Word in your heart. Share God with the world around you.
16 “No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light.