What Do You Want Me To Do For You?
This weekend, while on a silent retreat, I was challenged to read Mark 10:46-52.
Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (which means “son of Timaeus”), was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.” So they called to the blind man, “Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you.” Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus. 51 “What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him. The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.” 52 “Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.
Truth be told, I envy Bartimaeus. Not for the fact that he was a blind beggar, but because he had the guts to call out to Jesus, to get his attention, and asked Jesus to have mercy on him.
And Jesus stopped in his tracks, amidst all the noise of the people around him, and heard Bartimaeus. Jesus faced Bartimaeus and asked point blank, “What do you want me to do for you?” My envy comes into play here because Bartimaeus knew exactly what he wanted from Jesus. “Rabbi, I want to see.”
I wrestled with the thought of Jesus standing before me asking me what He can do for me. I am embarrassed to admit, I have quite a long list of wants and I feel like I would just lower my head and not answer because I feel too needy. I cannot pick just one.
After much reflection on this passage and my answer, I decided I would ask for my sight just as Bartimaeus did. That is the most perfect answer. Specifically, I would ask Jesus to open the eyes of my heart.
I have a place in my heart center where the Trinity (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit) resides. I have neglected this space and it has become cluttered with worldly thoughts and troubles. Anxiety and fear rushed in like a flood and just made a terrible mess. The once-cozy space for the Trinity looked like a disaster area.
I spent a lot of time this weekend emptying the trash, drying up the anxiety and fear flood water and organized the area into its familiar coziness so the Trinity has space to work with me again. Jesus spoke the same words to me that he told Bartimaeus, “Go, your faith has healed you.”
I can see with the eyes of my heart again. I am following Jesus.
This song Lord Have Mercy – Michael W Smith is a perfect accompaniment for this blog. I pray it touches your heart as it did mine.