Ecclesiastes 3:7b A time to be silent and a time to speak
I am soft-spoken. My voice does not carry well in a crowded room full of people talking or in the vicinity of a live band. I volunteer at my church and even though I wear a microphone, the sound board technician pushes a personalized button so everyone can hear me.
Through past experience, I find that my quiet voice is good to calm people in distress. With my quiet voice, I am able to coax my cats to come and cuddle with me as I watch television. A quiet voice; however, does not do well when I want to be taken seriously. My “mad voice” simply sounds higher pitched and lacks authority.
Many times when I am not taken seriously I get angry. I close my eyes and pray that God would simply take my voice away to ease my personal suffering. If I cannot be taken seriously, then I do not want the option to talk. I am stubborn this way.
God answered my prayer. I lost my voice this weekend.
I imagined I had some sort of important authority over everyone and they would be waiting at the edge of their seat for my voice to return. Like a guru sitting at the top of a mountain full of wisdom to share and people risking their lives to climb the mountain to ask me a question. So far-fetched from reality, but my ego ran free in my mind.
I realize that my silence is not due to my prayers. I take it as a sign to get me to spend more time listening to God’s voice and instruction. It is more important for me to sit at the feet of Jesus, read my life instruction manual (the Bible), and practice the art of being present. I am certain that when a serious moment arises, God will restore my voice and open the ears of those who need to hear my message. I need to be still and wait. All of life is in God’s timing, not mine.
Psalm 4:4 (NRSV)
When you are disturbed, do not sin; ponder it on your beds, and be silent.